Freaky Tuesday

I feel like a bit of a dissapointment with my BF lately. I just cannot explain it. I went over to stay at his place yesterday and thought that what a dreary affair it has been lately. I just don't understand why he is still with me. Like I just feel that I am just not compatible at all with him.

I have had so many things that happened to me lately. My brother quit his job. I changed job and got bullied by this asshole ( I actually managed to vent out my frustration with my gal pals of course). He is totally in the dark about my life. It's like he doesn't care. I saw one of his ex today and I thought lucky devil, she looked so fresh and so like happening. I was in my stupid jacket and I feel like I have ballooned lately.

We haven't kissed like for a long time. He doesn't like to. It's amazing why I still want this relationship. I just don't get anything out of it at all. I guess I don't really love him as much as I thought I did.

Actually I don't know if I want to leave or stay. I guess I am just waiting for him to say it to me. Lately, I even thought that being married to him is gonna be a chore. I dread that. I really do. I guess I should just move back and let life take its course.

I am bored with him. Like ultimate bored. Don't think marriage is in the pipeline so far. Besides don't think that he will ever want to settle down with me now that our relationship had sizzled out.... now we're just stale Coke waiting to be flushed down the toilet.

I really really don't feel like being with him anymore.
How do I end it?